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Author Topic: Interesting news you might want to share with us.  (Read 1514331 times)
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Diogenes
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« Reply #5970 on: August 05, 2022, 12:14:41 AM »

I'm very busy, just popping in to say that my daughter and I are doing quite a bit better. She's put in a little more effort and so have I. It's nice to be able to talk to her without her flying off the handle. There's always hope.

Kudos, karma!  Well done!
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« Reply #5971 on: August 05, 2022, 01:14:08 AM »

I'm very busy, just popping in to say that my daughter and I are doing quite a bit better. She's put in a little more effort and so have I. It's nice to be able to talk to her without her flying off the handle. There's always hope.

Kudos, karma!  Well done!

Good for you both Karma!

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« Reply #5972 on: August 07, 2022, 10:06:35 PM »

Reading your posts Karma and Paulina and others gives me shivers. I still hope that it is just a phase and she will come out of it. We still do things together, like watching movies, going on trips and sharing fun videos etc. It is just that I walk on egg shells, pathetically happy when everything goes well and desperately anxious to set off some trigger...
I have no words of wisdom for either Paulina or you Karma, I feel with you, I can see myself in that situation and I have no idea what to do. Obviously I do sent all of you a huge cyber hug. Let's continue to hang in there for our girls...
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« Reply #5973 on: August 07, 2022, 11:23:14 PM »

Fairy Hug It IS just a phase, a normal thing teenagers go through. Just try not to walk on eggshells too much, try to tune it out until it passes. It's nothing you can do anything about other than stand your ground and refuse to be disrespected while she's getting herself figured out.

Past and recent trauma is really making it hard for my daughter to deal with things. I get it, but I wish she respected and appreciated me more because she is really taking her frustration out on me right now. I was always the fun, open and loving parent who would do anything for my kids, bought them cell phones, took them to rock concerts, etc. But I was never an authoritarian figure, largely because my ex-husband was to an extreme. If I could go back and change that I would be firmer with more boundaries.

We're talking now, she's being more friendly and open. I've just been quiet and let her stew, she starts to miss me I think. I remember reading in one of Laura Ingalls' books a saying: 'least said, soonest mended'. It's served me well over the years.
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« Reply #5974 on: August 07, 2022, 11:45:31 PM »

I havenít wanted to say too much. But just like I apologized to my mother after I had children and understood her more- my daughters have done the same to me. I hope it gets better.
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Paulina

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« Reply #5975 on: August 08, 2022, 02:34:19 AM »

I'm very busy, just popping in to say that my daughter and I are doing quite a bit better. She's put in a little more effort and so have I. It's nice to be able to talk to her without her flying off the handle. There's always hope.

Thatís great news! Encouraging. My daughter and I went to my friends for the last four days. Her daughter is the same age. They hung out. But my daughter and I didnít speak until the third day. And today sheís a grouch again, back home. Asking to suddenly change high schools bc her two friends she gets in trouble with wonít be at school. One is maybe in another state now and the others parents made him transfer to another local high school. Now she suddenly needs a new school, but not any of the other local ones I suggested. 400 kids in the grade and she canít make new friends??

I think if she transferred, sheíd bring her problems with her. But sheís back to being hostile, blaming b****, so there is no discussion with her. I want to tell her to suck it up, change her attitude, join something, and look at the kids who might be nice and a good influence and seek them out.

Sadly, I suspect my girl has a partying, bad grades, too cool for school,  slutty reputation.

16. God, I thought 14 and 15 were long years.  Crazy Confused Secret Blink Nerves
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« Reply #5976 on: August 13, 2022, 05:04:49 AM »

Iím feeling like I canít do anything right when it comes to my kids (3 kids ages 3-6), and like I should just give up on even trying to earn their respect because Iím never really to get it.
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« Reply #5977 on: August 13, 2022, 07:50:38 AM »

Theyíre going. You have time. Be firm. Set boundaries. Donít give in to tantrums. I didnít do any of those things consistently and Iím paying a huge price. I actually suspect my daughter is scheming to run away. To Florida. She cut school two of the first four days of 11th grade.
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Paulina

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« Reply #5978 on: August 16, 2022, 02:41:51 AM »

Reading your posts Karma and Paulina and others gives me shivers. I still hope that it is just a phase and she will come out of it. We still do things together, like watching movies, going on trips and sharing fun videos etc. It is just that I walk on egg shells, pathetically happy when everything goes well and desperately anxious to set off some trigger...
I have no words of wisdom for either Paulina or you Karma, I feel with you, I can see myself in that situation and I have no idea what to do. Obviously I do sent all of you a huge cyber hug. Let's continue to hang in there for our girls...

Hugs, Fairy. It's getting worse at my house. I'll share below. Cyber hugs back!
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« Reply #5979 on: August 16, 2022, 02:51:17 AM »

I don't know where else to share this except here. My daughter may transfer schools and live with my mom in my old bedroom. I'm okay with that, except its' a difficult rented apartment and my mom is a hoarder, but she finally said she'd make room after my begging for fifteen years to make space for my kids in her apartment. She started hoarding and being weird about things about 20 years ago. It was not like that when I was growing up. My daughter has a friend she is plotting on running away to. She doesn't know I can see her texts. They are plotting for my daughter to go where the other psychopath girl is (the one I called the police on earlier in the summer.) Her mom dragged her to Florida and she has started school there. I've seen texts where my daughter is taking all the risks trying to get to Florida--hitchhiking with truckers (said she'd be okay with being raped for miles across the country (!)), living in the friend's shed, trying to sell things she owns to get money. The other girl is egging her on and they are scheming this runaway idea. No one knows but me, my mom, and two friends because it could be all hot air.

Meanwhile, my son seems to be having a relapse and having his second psychotic break. He had one in April 2020, right after the pandemic started and wound up on a 5150 and in a mental hospital for two weeks until they discharged him because he turned 18 and made him move hospitals in the middle of his stay. This is not uncommon with mental illness and more common when there is marijuana involved, which I think there is and which I forbid the last time. He recently lost his first job, applied for others and didn't get them, so his confidence, always fragile, is down. My daughter's big grievance, among several, is how occupied I was with my son during his first breakdown and it was scary for her (and me and family members who don't live with us, my mom and dad), and apparently I wasn't attentive enough to her at that time, making sure she was okay. I can't win with these two.

Honestly, if I could do it again, I would not have had children with this egg donor. The last four years have been hell with both kids. I can't have two problematic kids at the same time. I am so sad and scared. I hope my daughter wants to move in with my mom and go to the local high school, a much more ethnically, racially, socially, and economically diverse school than the one she is in now.

Must run.
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« Reply #5980 on: August 16, 2022, 04:12:13 AM »

Oh Paulina, that sounds like absolute hell. I have zero words of comfort or advice. I have no idea how to help you but I am sending you nothing but love and light as you navigate through this hell.
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« Reply #5981 on: August 16, 2022, 09:03:51 AM »

I don't know where else to share this except here. My daughter may transfer schools and live with my mom in my old bedroom. I'm okay with that, except its' a difficult rented apartment and my mom is a hoarder, but she finally said she'd make room after my begging for fifteen years to make space for my kids in her apartment. She started hoarding and being weird about things about 20 years ago. It was not like that when I was growing up. My daughter has a friend she is plotting on running away to. She doesn't know I can see her texts. They are plotting for my daughter to go where the other psychopath girl is (the one I called the police on earlier in the summer.) Her mom dragged her to Florida and she has started school there. I've seen texts where my daughter is taking all the risks trying to get to Florida--hitchhiking with truckers (said she'd be okay with being raped for miles across the country (!)), living in the friend's shed, trying to sell things she owns to get money. The other girl is egging her on and they are scheming this runaway idea. No one knows but me, my mom, and two friends because it could be all hot air.

Meanwhile, my son seems to be having a relapse and having his second psychotic break. He had one in April 2020, right after the pandemic started and wound up on a 5150 and in a mental hospital for two weeks until they discharged him because he turned 18 and made him move hospitals in the middle of his stay. This is not uncommon with mental illness and more common when there is marijuana involved, which I think there is and which I forbid the last time. He recently lost his first job, applied for others and didn't get them, so his confidence, always fragile, is down. My daughter's big grievance, among several, is how occupied I was with my son during his first breakdown and it was scary for her (and me and family members who don't live with us, my mom and dad), and apparently I wasn't attentive enough to her at that time, making sure she was okay. I can't win with these two.

Honestly, if I could do it again, I would not have had children with this egg donor. The last four years have been hell with both kids. I can't have two problematic kids at the same time. I am so sad and scared. I hope my daughter wants to move in with my mom and go to the local high school, a much more ethnically, racially, socially, and economically diverse school than the one she is in now.

Must run.

Wow Paulina, that indeed sounds like hell. Just like Annaboleyn I don't know how I could help you, but I am also sending a lot of luck, love and light to you.
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« Reply #5982 on: August 16, 2022, 08:31:33 PM »

I don't know where else to share this except here. My daughter may transfer schools and live with my mom in my old bedroom. I'm okay with that, except its' a difficult rented apartment and my mom is a hoarder, but she finally said she'd make room after my begging for fifteen years to make space for my kids in her apartment. She started hoarding and being weird about things about 20 years ago. It was not like that when I was growing up. My daughter has a friend she is plotting on running away to. She doesn't know I can see her texts. They are plotting for my daughter to go where the other psychopath girl is (the one I called the police on earlier in the summer.) Her mom dragged her to Florida and she has started school there. I've seen texts where my daughter is taking all the risks trying to get to Florida--hitchhiking with truckers (said she'd be okay with being raped for miles across the country (!)), living in the friend's shed, trying to sell things she owns to get money. The other girl is egging her on and they are scheming this runaway idea. No one knows but me, my mom, and two friends because it could be all hot air.

Meanwhile, my son seems to be having a relapse and having his second psychotic break. He had one in April 2020, right after the pandemic started and wound up on a 5150 and in a mental hospital for two weeks until they discharged him because he turned 18 and made him move hospitals in the middle of his stay. This is not uncommon with mental illness and more common when there is marijuana involved, which I think there is and which I forbid the last time. He recently lost his first job, applied for others and didn't get them, so his confidence, always fragile, is down. My daughter's big grievance, among several, is how occupied I was with my son during his first breakdown and it was scary for her (and me and family members who don't live with us, my mom and dad), and apparently I wasn't attentive enough to her at that time, making sure she was okay. I can't win with these two.

Honestly, if I could do it again, I would not have had children with this egg donor. The last four years have been hell with both kids. I can't have two problematic kids at the same time. I am so sad and scared. I hope my daughter wants to move in with my mom and go to the local high school, a much more ethnically, racially, socially, and economically diverse school than the one she is in now.

Must run.

Wow Paulina, that indeed sounds like hell. Just like Annaboleyn I don't know how I could help you, but I am also sending a lot of luck, love and light to you.

Hugs to you, Paulina. I really hope that everything can be settled.
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« Reply #5983 on: August 16, 2022, 10:15:28 PM »

I don't know where else to share this except here. My daughter may transfer schools and live with my mom in my old bedroom. I'm okay with that, except its' a difficult rented apartment and my mom is a hoarder, but she finally said she'd make room after my begging for fifteen years to make space for my kids in her apartment. She started hoarding and being weird about things about 20 years ago. It was not like that when I was growing up. My daughter has a friend she is plotting on running away to. She doesn't know I can see her texts. They are plotting for my daughter to go where the other psychopath girl is (the one I called the police on earlier in the summer.) Her mom dragged her to Florida and she has started school there. I've seen texts where my daughter is taking all the risks trying to get to Florida--hitchhiking with truckers (said she'd be okay with being raped for miles across the country (!)), living in the friend's shed, trying to sell things she owns to get money. The other girl is egging her on and they are scheming this runaway idea. No one knows but me, my mom, and two friends because it could be all hot air.

Meanwhile, my son seems to be having a relapse and having his second psychotic break. He had one in April 2020, right after the pandemic started and wound up on a 5150 and in a mental hospital for two weeks until they discharged him because he turned 18 and made him move hospitals in the middle of his stay. This is not uncommon with mental illness and more common when there is marijuana involved, which I think there is and which I forbid the last time. He recently lost his first job, applied for others and didn't get them, so his confidence, always fragile, is down. My daughter's big grievance, among several, is how occupied I was with my son during his first breakdown and it was scary for her (and me and family members who don't live with us, my mom and dad), and apparently I wasn't attentive enough to her at that time, making sure she was okay. I can't win with these two.

Honestly, if I could do it again, I would not have had children with this egg donor. The last four years have been hell with both kids. I can't have two problematic kids at the same time. I am so sad and scared. I hope my daughter wants to move in with my mom and go to the local high school, a much more ethnically, racially, socially, and economically diverse school than the one she is in now.

Must run.

Wow Paulina, that indeed sounds like hell. Just like Annaboleyn I don't know how I could help you, but I am also sending a lot of luck, love and light to you.

Hugs to you, Paulina. I really hope that everything can be settled.

My heart goes out to you, Paulina, and I hope for the best for all of you❤️
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« Reply #5984 on: August 16, 2022, 10:17:15 PM »

Paulina: do you get counselling? Apparently the kids seem to refuse any therapy (because for sure, it is not their fault - it is their mother's! Right?) But you need help getting thru this, not only for your own mental well-being but also advice on what to do with in this situation right now. Help, how to talk to your children and how to make sure that everything you could possibly do is being done for their sake but very much also for your own.
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