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Author Topic: Queen Maxima’s younger sister Ines died of apparent suicide.  (Read 37467 times)
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Chandrasekhi

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« Reply #30 on: June 09, 2018, 09:10:29 AM »

Is Ines a half sister? She was a lot younger than Maxima.
Just read an article about the sad coincidence of sisters of either queens or crown princesses who committed suicide.
Letizia's sister, Queen Sonja's sister and now Maxima's sister.
 The article wondered if being in the shadow of a sister, who became queen was the catalyst.. Well, grasping at straw...


Grasping indeed... Didn't know that Sonja suffered the same fate as Letizia and Maxima, very sad.
Sonjas sister tolk her life in 1970 when Sonja was Pregnant, 9 weeks later she miscarried. The Family belived her sister Gry had nerve problems after beeing prisoned during the war after moving Seat when a Gestapo officer sat next to her on the buss, and later fleeing to Sweden with her brother for beeing involved in the resistence movement. Very litle indicate it had to do with Sonjas role.
Truly, truly sad.  Hug Larzen.
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Chandrasekhi

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« Reply #31 on: June 09, 2018, 09:32:13 AM »

It's so sad. Poor Maxima. Sad

I wonder if a lot of it is due to the fact we often present ourselves as having such a perfect, happy life on the outside, for social media, and we don't have as much contact face to face. I've noticed a significant difference between friendships now versus even a few years ago.
Hug Ellie: I have noticed the same. Social media has reduced the degrees of separation between people but has increased the isolation. Would the happy shiny lives on social media really want to know about a miserable day I might have had? Would I be able to detect the cry for help under the happy shiny life posted on social media? No, I don't believe social media is an adequate substitute for human contact yet I see the increasing reliance on it to communicate with someone when one could just have met for a cup of coffee and a natter to take the edge off life.
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KatyMc

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« Reply #32 on: June 09, 2018, 11:52:56 AM »

It's so sad. Poor Maxima. Sad

I wonder if a lot of it is due to the fact we often present ourselves as having such a perfect, happy life on the outside, for social media, and we don't have as much contact face to face. I've noticed a significant difference between friendships now versus even a few years ago.
Hug Ellie: I have noticed the same. Social media has reduced the degrees of separation between people but has increased the isolation. Would the happy shiny lives on social media really want to know about a miserable day I might have had? Would I be able to detect the cry for help under the happy shiny life posted on social media? No, I don't believe social media is an adequate substitute for human contact yet I see the increasing reliance on it to communicate
with someone when one could just have met for a cup of coffee and a natter to take the edge off life.

Yes i think you are right. I have suffered from depression and comparing your life to people on Facebook is the worse thing you can do! And no one likes the people who are always posting they are ill etc. I know i feelso much better just talking face to face with people even if its just small talk.
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Lady Willoughby

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« Reply #33 on: June 09, 2018, 12:07:12 PM »

It's so sad. Poor Maxima. Sad

I wonder if a lot of it is due to the fact we often present ourselves as having such a perfect, happy life on the outside, for social media, and we don't have as much contact face to face. I've noticed a significant difference between friendships now versus even a few years ago.
Hug Ellie: I have noticed the same. Social media has reduced the degrees of separation between people but has increased the isolation. Would the happy shiny lives on social media really want to know about a miserable day I might have had? Would I be able to detect the cry for help under the happy shiny life posted on social media? No, I don't believe social media is an adequate substitute for human contact yet I see the increasing reliance on it to communicate
with someone when one could just have met for a cup of coffee and a natter to take the edge off life.

Yes i think you are right. I have suffered from depression and comparing your life to people on Facebook is the worse thing you can do! And no one likes the people who are always posting they are ill etc. I know i feelso much better just talking face to face with people even if its just small talk.

Social media is infuriating, but it only magnified something that people have always done to people who need help. People want to hear about the shiny happy moments and cringe if you share the truth on social media AND in real life. Very often, not always, but frequently people do reach out or cry out for help and it’s brushed off as “being dramatic” because we don’t want to see the ugly in life.

It’s why I’ve had a hard time not rolling my eyes at all of the people (famous and non) spouting off about “just reaching out” after all of these high profile suicides this week. I have a hard time believing anything is going to truly change in our behavior towards people who are struggling.
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Princess MS
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« Reply #34 on: June 09, 2018, 12:42:47 PM »

It's so sad. Poor Maxima. Sad

I wonder if a lot of it is due to the fact we often present ourselves as having such a perfect, happy life on the outside, for social media, and we don't have as much contact face to face. I've noticed a significant difference between friendships now versus even a few years ago.
Hug Ellie: I have noticed the same. Social media has reduced the degrees of separation between people but has increased the isolation. Would the happy shiny lives on social media really want to know about a miserable day I might have had? Would I be able to detect the cry for help under the happy shiny life posted on social media? No, I don't believe social media is an adequate substitute for human contact yet I see the increasing reliance on it to communicate
with someone when one could just have met for a cup of coffee and a natter to take the edge off life.

Yes i think you are right. I have suffered from depression and comparing your life to people on Facebook is the worse thing you can do! And no one likes the people who are always posting they are ill etc. I know i feelso much better just talking face to face with people even if its just small talk.

Social media is infuriating, but it only magnified something that people have always done to people who need help. People want to hear about the shiny happy moments and cringe if you share the truth on social media AND in real life. Very often, not always, but frequently people do reach out or cry out for help and it’s brushed off as “being dramatic” because we don’t want to see the ugly in life.

It’s why I’ve had a hard time not rolling my eyes at all of the people (famous and non) spouting off about “just reaching out” after all of these high profile suicides this week. I have a hard time believing anything is going to truly change in our behavior towards people who are struggling.

I agree - and it is also the "vision" people want - so someone that I have been there for 20 + years and thought was my closest friend decided not to include me in her 50th birthday celebrations - I was invited to the house to hand over expensive presents at lunch but not for the dinner - I gave the present - won't be going back again.
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lisadug

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« Reply #35 on: June 09, 2018, 12:47:25 PM »

So, so sad and I would concur about the thoughts of social media highlighting the loneliness and isolation people can feel at not living a fun filled life of perfection.  It has its place, but for me that place is too much in the front right now, since my separation I’ve gradually stepped back from it because there are weekends where I see so many posts of happy families and couples and all my friends out riding and competing and it’s made me feel very alone.  Not that my husband was exactly a sociable man, but it’s still lonely.  I can’t ride anymore until my shoulder is operated on so I feel a little bereft at times.

It’s easy to say people should have noticed but I know when I was first diagnosed with depression when i eventually talked about it at work people were stunned.  I was juse so good at acting happy until I got home and crumbled, horrible illness and my sympathies to all concerned here.
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Lady Willoughby

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« Reply #36 on: June 09, 2018, 12:52:08 PM »

So, so sad and I would concur about the thoughts of social media highlighting the loneliness and isolation people can feel at not living a fun filled life of perfection.  It has its place, but for me that place is too much in the front right now, since my separation I’ve gradually stepped back from it because there are weekends where I see so many posts of happy families and couples and all my friends out riding and competing and it’s made me feel very alone.  Not that my husband was exactly a sociable man, but it’s still lonely.  I can’t ride anymore until my shoulder is operated on so I feel a little bereft at times.

It’s easy to say people should have noticed but I know when I was first diagnosed with depression when i eventually talked about it at work people were stunned.  I was juse so good at acting happy until I got home and crumbled, horrible illness and my sympathies to all concerned here.

I’m very sorry to hear of your struggles. I’ve been with you in the depression boat (with a side of anxiety)

It’s unfortunate and a blessing at the same time, but I’ve found people here at RD more willing to listen and sympathetic than many people on personal social media accounts.

We have a great community here.
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PinkPanther

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« Reply #37 on: June 09, 2018, 10:06:58 PM »

It angers me to hear "just reach out", "just call this number", and "just talk to somebody" every time there's a high profile suicide. While many people can deal with physical illness, mental illness is just beyond most people's capacity to understand or deal with. Even those who can deal with it only have so much patience. The stigma of mental illness sticks so hard because it's not only difficult to live with it, it's difficult to live with someone who has it. And that's not even taking the exorbitant financial cost of mental illness into account.

If a mental issue can't be fixed quickly or easily, a lot of people just give up on the sufferer because the problem is annoying and inconvenient for them and we need to be honest about how big a problem that is. Sufferers know that many people in their lives will abandon them if they know they're sick so they hold it in. It's easy for family and friends to say that they "wish we knew" after someone's gone but a lot of times they do know and ignore it. Or if they had known, they would've abandoned the person. So, sufferers hold it all in and put on as brave a face as they can muster for as long as they can until they can't hold the mask up any longer.

I know, I've been there. And when I was at my sickest, was when I had the fewest people who cared. Everyone's eager to say they'll help you when you're still pretty okay or getting a lot better but when you're in the depths of it, you're pretty much on your own. At my worst, I had my mother and sister and that was it. Even my own father and brother couldn't take it and refused to see me until I was "right" again. In my experience, the closer you get to being suicidal, most people care less about you not more. We need to own that as a society.

People are committing suicide more and more because depression, anxiety, alienation, and isolation are skyrocketing while social cohesion, cultural and political stability, and funding for help is plummeting. This is an epidemic that will only get worse and I see no way out of it. This is especially true here in the US where everything we care about is being ripped to shreds in front of our eyes, it's being done deliberately by very evil people who couldn't care less how many people die as a result, and we are utterly powerless to stop it. As my grandmother once told me decades ago: the people who care don't matter and the people who matter don't care.
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lisadug

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« Reply #38 on: June 09, 2018, 10:17:43 PM »

So, so sad and I would concur about the thoughts of social media highlighting the loneliness and isolation people can feel at not living a fun filled life of perfection.  It has its place, but for me that place is too much in the front right now, since my separation I’ve gradually stepped back from it because there are weekends where I see so many posts of happy families and couples and all my friends out riding and competing and it’s made me feel very alone.  Not that my husband was exactly a sociable man, but it’s still lonely.  I can’t ride anymore until my shoulder is operated on so I feel a little bereft at times.

It’s easy to say people should have noticed but I know when I was first diagnosed with depression when i eventually talked about it at work people were stunned.  I was juse so good at acting happy until I got home and crumbled, horrible illness and my sympathies to all concerned here.

I’m very sorry to hear of your struggles. I’ve been with you in the depression boat (with a side of anxiety)

It’s unfortunate and a blessing at the same time, but I’ve found people here at RD more willing to listen and sympathetic than many people on personal social media accounts.

We have a great community here.

Thanks, I have the cursed anxiety too, I manage it all a lot better now, much more aware of self care and of saying no tomthings I don’t want to do and removing myself from stressful situations.  Unfortunately my teenage daughter also struggles and it’s been so hard seeing someone so young deal with them both.  She’s pretty much okay with not being okay and will always come and talk to me if she’s struggling and she has a couple of really good friends who talk her through panic attacks.  She’s nearly 21 now and in general is doing much better, but she was so sensible about going to the drs and insisting on help.  I went with her for her second appointment and the dr offered her Valium, she was 17!  I jumped right in and said no, that was like going from zero to a hundred in one go.  We managed to get an appt with a more experienced dr and she’s been on medication ever since.  Not Valium though, I shudder to think what that could have done to her, who would give a suicidal teenager Valium? She does therapy online as well and for all the criticism of the NHS regarding mental health we’ve found them to be very helpful. 

I hope with more high profile people talking about their struggles it normalises it for those who are keeping it hidden.
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lisadug

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« Reply #39 on: June 09, 2018, 10:24:42 PM »

It angers me to hear "just reach out", "just call this number", and "just talk to somebody" every time there's a high profile suicide. While many people can deal with physical illness, mental illness is just beyond most people's capacity to understand or deal with. Even those who can deal with it only have so much patience. The stigma of mental illness sticks so hard because it's not only difficult to live with it, it's difficult to live with someone who has it. And that's not even taking the exorbitant financial cost of mental illness into account.

If a mental issue can't be fixed quickly or easily, a lot of people just give up on the sufferer because the problem is annoying and inconvenient for them and we need to be honest about how big a problem that is. Sufferers know that many people in their lives will abandon them if they know they're sick so they hold it in. It's easy for family and friends to say that they "wish we knew" after someone's gone but a lot of times they do know and ignore it. Or if they had known, they would've abandoned the person. So, sufferers hold it all in and put on as brave a face as they can muster for as long as they can until they can't hold the mask up any longer.

I know, I've been there. And when I was at my sickest, was when I had the fewest people who cared. Everyone's eager to say they'll help you when you're still pretty okay or getting a lot better but when you're in the depths of it, you're pretty much on your own. At my worst, I had my mother and sister and that was it. Even my own father and brother couldn't take it and refused to see me until I was "right" again. In my experience, the closer you get to being suicidal, most people care less about you not more. We need to own that as a society.

People are committing suicide more and more because depression, anxiety, alienation, and isolation are skyrocketing while social cohesion, cultural and political stability, and funding for help is plummeting. This is an epidemic that will only get worse and I see no way out of it. This is especially true here in the US where everything we care about is being ripped to shreds in front of our eyes, it's being done deliberately by very evil people who couldn't care less how many people die as a result, and we are utterly powerless to stop it. As my grandmother once told me decades ago: the people who care don't matter and the people who matter don't care.

A big “hell yes” to all of this.  My husband couldn’t deal with it so just ignored me, I asked him once why he didn’t ask me how I was, his answer “because you might tell me”.  My older daughter can’t understand it either,  although she had a small panic attack at hospital a few weeks ago when she was having her wisdom teeth out and she said afterwards that she now gets how horrible it would be to live like that all the time. 

Recovery can be somlong, but also so erratic.  Another of my husbands complaints was that he never knew from one day to,the next what I would be like, in my head it was a minute by minute thing 😂😂😂😂. Those of us able to talk about it and explain need to do our best to educate people and help them understand.
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KatyMc

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« Reply #40 on: June 09, 2018, 10:38:18 PM »

It angers me to hear "just reach out", "just call this number", and "just talk to somebody" every time there's a high profile suicide. While many people can deal with physical illness, mental illness is just beyond most people's capacity to understand or deal with. Even those who can deal with it only have so much patience. The stigma of mental illness sticks so hard because it's not only difficult to live with it, it's difficult to live with someone who has it. And that's not even taking the exorbitant financial cost of mental illness into account.

If a mental issue can't be fixed quickly or easily, a lot of people just give up on the sufferer because the problem is annoying and inconvenient for them and we need to be honest about how big a problem that is. Sufferers know that many people in their lives will abandon them if they know they're sick so they hold it in. It's easy for family and friends to say that they "wish we knew" after someone's gone but a lot of times they do know and ignore it. Or if they had known, they would've abandoned the person. So, sufferers hold it all in and put on as brave a face as they can muster for as long as they can until they can't hold the mask up any longer.

I know, I've been there. And when I was at my sickest, was when I had the fewest people who cared. Everyone's eager to say they'll help you when you're still pretty okay or getting a lot better but when you're in the depths of it, you're pretty much on your own. At my worst, I had my mother and sister and that was it. Even my own father and brother couldn't take it and refused to see me until I was "right" again. In my experience, the closer you get to being suicidal, most people care less about you not more. We need to own that as a society.

People are committing suicide more and more because depression, anxiety, alienation, and isolation are skyrocketing while social cohesion, cultural and political stability, and funding for help is plummeting. This is an epidemic that will only get worse and I see no way out of it. This is especially true here in the US where everything we care about is being ripped to shreds in front of our eyes, it's being done deliberately by very evil people who couldn't care less how many people die as a result, and we are utterly powerless to stop it. As my grandmother once told me decades ago: the people who care don't matter and the people who matter don't care.

@pink panther, well said. Its not as simple as picking up the phone. I know that even when people around me were saying all right things, i was dismissing them in my head. As you say, most People will only try for a short time as it is hard work with no immediate result. I can be thankful that i have a lovely husband who didn’t give up and made me keep doing things.
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PeDe
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« Reply #41 on: June 11, 2018, 04:23:17 AM »

they are in Argentina, attending the funeral













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« Reply #42 on: June 11, 2018, 02:32:05 PM »

Terrible news! So sad for Maxima and the rest of the family.
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« Reply #43 on: June 11, 2018, 04:38:24 PM »

My heart goes out to Max and her family.
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Principessa

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« Reply #44 on: June 13, 2018, 12:24:17 AM »

It was said it was hard for Maxima because of her special bound with her only full blood sister, even if she was >10 years her junior. But based on the pictures it seemed to be very hard for Max's 2nd daughter princess Alexia.......... Cry


https://www.therealmyroyals.com/page/9/


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