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Author Topic: Ari Behn is dead  (Read 51903 times)
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Kristallinchen

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« Reply #405 on: January 14, 2020, 08:11:58 PM »

Ari's parents talked about their son's death in an interview with Se og Hør.

https://www.seher.no/kjen...407-1218361835.1578978407

Ari was to celebrate Christmas with the royal family, but canceled only days before to be with his parents instead. He never showed up. It was his father Olav who found him.

That must've been scary.

Imagine, if one of the girls had found him. Nerves

Many years ago a father of a former classmate of mine commited suicide (battled depression for a long time). According to the story he hanged himself near the garage/shed of the neighbours. It was horrible, but we were especially concerned about the ones who would have found him.



We have a friend whose father called him and asked him to come over. He heard the shot as he got out of his car.

It's a really nasty thing to do to your child.

The second one is downright cruel.
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Lady Liebe

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« Reply #406 on: January 14, 2020, 08:19:31 PM »

Ari's parents talked about their son's death in an interview with Se og Hør.

https://www.seher.no/kjen...407-1218361835.1578978407

Ari was to celebrate Christmas with the royal family, but canceled only days before to be with his parents instead. He never showed up. It was his father Olav who found him.

That must've been scary.

Imagine, if one of the girls had found him. Nerves

Many years ago a father of a former classmate of mine commited suicide (battled depression for a long time). According to the story he hanged himself near the garage/shed of the neighbours. It was horrible, but we were especially concerned about the ones who would have found him.



We have a friend whose father called him and asked him to come over. He heard the shot as he got out of his car.

It's a really nasty thing to do to your child.

My father was a divorce attorney and he had several clients do this - but never to children. It was always to ex spouses.  I always thought that was nasty, but I have come to realize that these people are truly sick. 

And yes, it is very hard on the survivors, especially parents and children.  Poor Olav.

Oddly enough, the friend came out of it better than other family members. He did get counseling, and had strong support from his wife. The dynamic in the extended family remains out of whack.

Another friend has spoken of thinking seriously of suicide after his first marriage broke up. Fortunately it never got that far.
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« Reply #407 on: January 14, 2020, 09:00:33 PM »

Finding a dead body is never easy. Disappearing into the water or the wide forests might save someone from discovering the body, but it keeps your relatives from finding closure.
Being able to bury the dead is an important task for people to mourn and come to terms with losing a loved one.
A disappearance, even coupled with an ironclad suicide note will Always Keep that "what if" thought alive. And I believe that makes everything a lot harder.
Certainly there are very horrid ways, but almost all people ending their life are not thinking clearly - eps. those who are revenge and hatred driven and wish to harm those who they believe has caused that terrible pain, which drives them to suicide.
The only exception are those who are perhaps terminally ill and make a very clear decision and who go about it with perhaps medical help in assisted suicides.
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« Reply #408 on: January 15, 2020, 12:34:00 AM »

Finding a dead body is never easy. Disappearing into the water or the wide forests might save someone from discovering the body, but it keeps your relatives from finding closure.
Being able to bury the dead is an important task for people to mourn and come to terms with losing a loved one.
A disappearance, even coupled with an ironclad suicide note will Always Keep that "what if" thought alive. And I believe that makes everything a lot harder.
Certainly there are very horrid ways, but almost all people ending their life are not thinking clearly - eps. those who are revenge and hatred driven and wish to harm those who they believe has caused that terrible pain, which drives them to suicide.
The only exception are those who are perhaps terminally ill and make a very clear decision and who go about it with perhaps medical help in assisted suicides.

At age 15 I found my grandmother dead, of a heart attack. Not easy, but I can't imagine the trauma of finding a person who has taken their life or been murdered. Horrid.

You are so very right about closure - we've had a case of a missing teenager in a nearby town. He went missing before Christmas and the body has just been found. Not a suicide, not foul play, just a tragic accident. Some of my first thoughts were that at least his parents had closure - and indeed the town has closure too.
« Last Edit: January 15, 2020, 01:02:30 AM by Lady Liebe » Logged

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« Reply #409 on: January 15, 2020, 02:15:48 AM »

Hugs to everyone who has shared their personal stories. So much sadness.

I never really thought about the trauma of finding the body, but it certainly makes the healing process more difficult.

I suppose this why many suicides take place in a hotel...to spare the loved ones.

Anyway, I hope Ari’s parents find some peace in telling their story.
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« Reply #410 on: January 15, 2020, 03:39:37 AM »

Utterly heartbreaking and truly beautiful.  Thank you for translating. 
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« Reply #411 on: January 15, 2020, 03:59:52 AM »

Heard the church bells ring for Ari while I was in the city center today. I didn't know him personally, but I work within the media, so many of my friends did, and there's no doubt in my mind that he must have been an amazing person!

A fun story from the first time I met Ari: This was back in 2004, I was 16, and my mom and I met him at an airport. My mom told me (I was ahead of her: "Kate, look, it's Ari Behn.) He heard it, looked at us both, waived and said "Hi there." So warm. My mom felt embarassed, but his reaction totally eased that down.

The second time I met him was as a grown up, as a reporter at an event. A few years later, he worked with the same publishing house as I did, so I met him a few times. He always showed the same respect and interest in me, although I was so young back then. Such a confidence boost!

I don't know him in any way, but that "he can make anyone feel seen and special " part, I can totally relate to that.

So so sad that he's gone. I think he carried a depth and a darkness that in the end overwon the light. In that regard, I really love how Marianne, (his mother put it): he walked into the light.

Hopefully he can find his eternal light.

Thank you for sharing this
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LucyintheSky

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« Reply #412 on: January 15, 2020, 04:02:49 AM »

Quote
It is a pity the girls had to spend Christmas with their selfish mother and her con/shamman.  Harold and Sofia look gutted, as do MM from Norway, ML looks like she's putting on an act JMO.

I don't think it is fair to blame Maerta Louise, they had split, both had moved on. The man had depression - he had loving parents, a loving girlfriend, loving sibilings and many friends. His disease did not make him see that.

Oslo and Lommedalen are 24km apart, so it is not that they were on a different continent. I think there was some agreement, that the girls would go to mass with the grandparents in the morning, maybe have Christmas dinner and see him either later or the next day. A lot of divorced parents have an agreement like that. And as you could see today, there was so much warm and sympathy still there ... The king -despite being regal- gave off very very caring father's and grandfather's vibes - the photo where he hugs ML is heartbreaking.

Consindering Ari was the ex-son-in-law and at times his art and also his actions were very republican there was clearly so much warmth and real feelings there for him as a person. Harald could not have had more understanding for his situation and he worded it so nicely in this speech.


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LucyintheSky

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« Reply #413 on: January 15, 2020, 04:03:48 AM »

A lovely service, I don't think it was too much about ML or the RF. I admire Maud for being able to speak so well, I couldn't imagine doing so at that age after such a tragic death.

I really do admire how compassionate the NRF are, Harald and Sonja especially. Seeing the King and Queen embrace Ari's family so easily and naturally was touching. It could have been so awkward for them all being at the funeral of an ex but they all did so well and so natural it seemed really alright.

I'm not ML's biggest fan, especially of late, but I do think she acted well today, she supported her daughters but let them take centre stage.

Victoria wasn't there, apparently Estelle has broken her leg skiing. TBH we only had one report from Royal Central (hardly the best source IMO) that she was ever going so whether the reason is the ski accident or not who knows.


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« Reply #414 on: January 15, 2020, 04:16:11 AM »

I have been a long time member who does not post much, as I find mY thoughts have already been much more eloquently expressed by others. On this topic though I have thought long and hard about sharing and decided to weigh in with an experience of many years ago. I am a retired school counselor and had a student who attempted suicide, the student was a new freshman,14 years old.  When we first met they asked if I knew what had happened and I replied that I knew they had tried to hurt themself.  With clarity and honesty this young person looked at me and said, “no, I tried to stop the hurt”.  I was forever changed by their few words and never again used the phase
“hurting yourself” but rather asked what hurts so badly. The purity and wisdom of youth never failed to take my breath away and cause me to rethink how I was doing things. This topic has caused me to revisit that interaction so many times and I hope for comfort and peace for all of Ari’s loved ones.
Thank You.
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« Reply #415 on: January 15, 2020, 10:24:11 AM »

OT: When I was 13 one of my classmates went home (really proudly because she won an important school competition that day) to find her mom hanged in the bedroom. She never got over it .... There are so many sad stories ...

 Cry
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« Reply #416 on: January 15, 2020, 10:30:07 AM »

OT: When I was 13 one of my classmates went home (really proudly because she won an important school competition that day) to find her mom hanged in the bedroom. She never got over it .... There are so many sad stories ...

That's horrible. The poor child.

I saw a documentary once, where they talked about child suicide. One of the stories was by a mother, who said that her daughter (at this time around 13) called her at work and asked her how the mixer worked. Naturally she didn't think much of it at the time. When she got home later on, she found her daughter dead. She had mixed herself a deathly cocktail.

Sadley I know people are sick, not knowing what they are doing anymore. But so extremely horrified when a child get this far  Cry

Many years ago, when my father was still working he received a nasty call. If he could come to help his co workers, who were at a job near a local railway track. He was in charge and had send the men to this job.  Apparently a 14 year old boy had parked his bike near the track, even got greeted by one of the workers and then just walked in front of the coming train.
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« Reply #417 on: January 15, 2020, 10:30:55 AM »

OT: When I was 13 one of my classmates went home (really proudly because she won an important school competition that day) to find her mom hanged in the bedroom. She never got over it .... There are so many sad stories ...

That's horrible. The poor child.

I saw a documentary once, where they talked about child suicide. One of the stories was by a mother, who said that her daughter (at this time around 13) called her at work and asked her how the mixer worked. Naturally she didn't think much of it at the time. When she got home later on, she found her daughter dead. She had mixed herself a deathly cocktail.

OMG!  Nerves
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Kristallinchen

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« Reply #418 on: January 15, 2020, 10:41:47 AM »

OT: When I was 13 one of my classmates went home (really proudly because she won an important school competition that day) to find her mom hanged in the bedroom. She never got over it .... There are so many sad stories ...

That's horrible. The poor child.

I saw a documentary once, where they talked about child suicide. One of the stories was by a mother, who said that her daughter (at this time around 13) called her at work and asked her how the mixer worked. Naturally she didn't think much of it at the time. When she got home later on, she found her daughter dead. She had mixed herself a deathly cocktail.

OMG!  Nerves

As you can imagine the first thing the mother thought and told on TV was:

It's all my fault. If I hadn't explained her how the mixer worked, she would still be alive.
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« Reply #419 on: February 06, 2020, 06:04:07 PM »

Maud Angelica Behn was honored today for her openness on mental disorders and suicide.

https://www.psykologforen...is-til-maud-angelica-behn

Quote
The prize is awarded annually during the Acute Psychiatry Conference and will go to one or more persons who have helped to make significant contributions to this area of expertise.

The jury points out that this year's award winner in a unique way makes a rare contribution to the work of suicide prevention.

Excerpt from the jury:

“In your grief, you choose to share. Your strong words strike us all with great force. You open your heart and focus your eyes on others as well. You put the pain into words and convey hope. There is a great deal of heart in using the church, the media and the public side in the most private way to talk about mental disorders and how important it is to ask for help.

You are concerned that suicide is not a solution and that even in the darkest moments of life, there is another way out. In your words, you convey a message that makes a difference. ”

The jury consists of the board of the National Forum for Emergency Psychiatry.

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