Break-up, depression and anxiety

[Principessa]

Hello, sorry for not being active here lately. But I do read. I am going through a break-up right now and I think also depression as I have been prolonging this agony for so long, in fear of the break-up. But I feel falling into depression deeper and deeper if I will not face this head on and put a full stop to this toxic relationship. I have attempted a few times in the past, but when I’m feeling the break-up effect, I go back to the relationship again. I am hurt enough to consider a break up many times but I am not strong enough to face life alone after. I am feeling depressed and also anxiety facing an unknown future. I feel tired to go on working as I don’t have a purpose in life. I am so down at the moment. The things preventing me from taking my life are my fear of the act and I don’t want to embarrass my family. Otherwise, i don’t care for my health anymore. Thank you

Sorry for this selfish post. But I need to let this out in an anonymous way. I live alone and have no one to talk to comfortably. So being anonymous here is the way.

Dear Lucy,

IMO certainly not selfish! It doesn't sounds good and you are in need for someone or more to talk to. It can be a general person, or someone who can have an idea about the topic (own experiences and such). Sometimes it is even helpful to have someone or more just listening. And RD, in my experience is a good medium. Okay, our main aim is dishing and so on royals, but I have noticed that there are many lovely, thoughtful, compassionate people here.

Have you already considered contacting a general practitioner/ doctor (or related) about this?

I am wishing you all the best! 

[fairy]

Toxic relationships are like addictions: they convince you very neatly that you really need to stay, that without there is no purpose in life. That they are the only thing that makes you whole or give you any sort of strength.
But that is just an illusion.
Do seek help with a consellour, there are countless organisations in Germany you could contact. For information a call to any OBY/GYN or general practioner should do. They (often already the receptionist answering the phone) will very likely be able to refer you to an address, and you can go from there. Google and you might find one telephone number and they will help you on..
You have come so far already, don't stop now.
The flag underneath your avator says Germany, if that is correct call 0800 777 22 44 for the psychological helpline...

[lucy]

Wow thank you so much my Royaldish family. I am very very grateful beyond words to all of you for your kind messages and advice and help, it helped me in a way to go on as you say, one baby step at a time. One day at a time. I Screenshot your messages, and read it again when I am feeling down. I am saddest on weekends when I am just alone with my thoughts. On weekdays when i am at work, I have some distraction and can keep busy and it gets me through the day.
I read the screenshots of your messages again when feelings of doubt (if whether I made the right decision to end the relationship) or slight urge to contact him.
I can say I am strong in a way that I can still get up everyday and go to work and act normal, that takes so much strength because inside of me I am crying of pain and sadness. I cry at night to let out those feelings I kept in me throughout the day.
But I will get through this, I promise you my Royaldish family. Thank you so much   

[Principessa]

Wow thank you so much my Royaldish family. I am very very grateful beyond words to all of you for your kind messages and advice and help, it helped me in a way to go on as you say, one baby step at a time. One day at a time. I Screenshot your messages, and read it again when I am feeling down. I am saddest on weekends when I am just alone with my thoughts. On weekdays when i am at work, I have some distraction and can keep busy and it gets me through the day.
I read the screenshots of your messages again when feelings of doubt (if whether I made the right decision to end the relationship) or slight urge to contact him.
I can say I am strong in a way that I can still get up everyday and go to work and act normal, that takes so much strength because inside of me I am crying of pain and sadness. I cry at night to let out those feelings I kept in me throughout the day.
But I will get through this, I promise you my Royaldish family. Thank you so much   

 

[anastasia beaverhausen]

Wow thank you so much my Royaldish family. I am very very grateful beyond words to all of you for your kind messages and advice and help, it helped me in a way to go on as you say, one baby step at a time. One day at a time. I Screenshot your messages, and read it again when I am feeling down. I am saddest on weekends when I am just alone with my thoughts. On weekdays when i am at work, I have some distraction and can keep busy and it gets me through the day.
I read the screenshots of your messages again when feelings of doubt (if whether I made the right decision to end the relationship) or slight urge to contact him.
I can say I am strong in a way that I can still get up everyday and go to work and act normal, that takes so much strength because inside of me I am crying of pain and sadness. I cry at night to let out those feelings I kept in me throughout the day.
But I will get through this, I promise you my Royaldish family. Thank you so much   

You WILL get through this, and every day will get slightly easier.  Unfortunately this is the hard part. Can you schedule something enjoyable for the weekend?  A massage or a manicure, or a visit to a museum or just a nice long hike? 

[Maria]

Lucy, please keep posting and don’t ever feel you shouldn’t.

It takes incredible strength to ask for help l, you can do it ♥️

[Cordelia Fitzgerald]

I also just got out of a difficult relationship. I am here for you if you need an anonymous ear.

I'm sorry to hear that, anne, but I'm also happy to hear that you found the courage to leave.  Praying for your peace of mind and strength of will, too, and I hope you read all of the advice and encouragement given to Lucy and apply it to yourself.   

Lucy, keep doing what you're doing!!  Be proud of yourself for what you've already done, and know that you can do whatever needs to be done next.  And whatever he says, YOU ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM!!!!  Day by day you'll get through this.

So glad you're here on this board and so very glad you shared this with us.   

[Gemsheal]

Lucy I would like to make a painful admission, my mother committed suicide 10 years ago.  You mention you have family that you don't want to embarrass - I beg you, please know it is not embarrassment they will feel, but an entire sense of failure; combined with the deepest sadness that can possibly be felt.  Not to mention many other painful feelings almost too complex to unravel.  (I am *still* trying to come to terms with my mother's choice ten years forward and I wonder if I *ever* will.)
 
You can get help through this dark patch, WITH professional help, I ask that you please, keep looking for it; & keep trying not to fall into "all or nothing" (i.e. "this is never going to get better") thinking.  It is difficult, but with the support of a good therapist & other sources (social services, domestic violence shelters?) you can move away from that toxic relationship and, yes, from toxic inward feelings.

Dark thoughts are - just that, thoughts, but certain actions are irrevocable.  But to effect *change* when all is dark is quite all right.  Give life another chance.  There is still beauty, humor, and inspiration all around you.  I don't know you but I'm rooting for you to find your joy  and hope you will turn this awful corner realizing that you have more strength than you ever knew you had.   

[Cordelia Fitzgerald]

Lucy I would like to make a painful admission, my mother committed suicide 10 years ago.  You mention you have family that you don't want to embarrass - I beg you, please know it is not embarrassment they will feel, but an entire sense of failure; combined with the deepest sadness that can possibly be felt.  Not to mention many other painful feelings almost too complex to unravel.  (I am *still* trying to come to terms with my mother's choice ten years forward and I wonder if I *ever* will.)
 
You can get help through this dark patch, WITH professional help, I ask that you please, keep looking for it; & keep trying not to fall into "all or nothing" (i.e. "this is never going to get better") thinking.  It is difficult, but with the support of a good therapist & other sources (social services, domestic violence shelters?) you can move away from that toxic relationship and, yes, from toxic inward feelings.

Dark thoughts are - just that, thoughts, but certain actions are irrevocable.  But to effect *change* when all is dark is quite all right.  Give life another chance.  There is still beauty, humor, and inspiration all around you.  I don't know you but I'm rooting for you to find your joy  and hope you will turn this awful corner realizing that you have more strength than you ever knew you had.   

Gems, I don't even want to pretend like anything I can say would be helpful or comforting to you but I'm so very sorry you have to walk this road.  I hope that as time goes on, you're finding peace and healing.  Thank you for sharing this, and I hope it helps Lucy realize that it's not the solution to her current hurt.

What a beautiful community this board is and I couldn't be more thankful to be part of it.

[Principessa]

Lucy I would like to make a painful admission, my mother committed suicide 10 years ago.  You mention you have family that you don't want to embarrass - I beg you, please know it is not embarrassment they will feel, but an entire sense of failure; combined with the deepest sadness that can possibly be felt.  Not to mention many other painful feelings almost too complex to unravel.  (I am *still* trying to come to terms with my mother's choice ten years forward and I wonder if I *ever* will.)
 
You can get help through this dark patch, WITH professional help, I ask that you please, keep looking for it; & keep trying not to fall into "all or nothing" (i.e. "this is never going to get better") thinking.  It is difficult, but with the support of a good therapist & other sources (social services, domestic violence shelters?) you can move away from that toxic relationship and, yes, from toxic inward feelings.

Dark thoughts are - just that, thoughts, but certain actions are irrevocable.  But to effect *change* when all is dark is quite all right.  Give life another chance.  There is still beauty, humor, and inspiration all around you.  I don't know you but I'm rooting for you to find your joy  and hope you will turn this awful corner realizing that you have more strength than you ever knew you had.   

Oh my Gemshel 

[anastasia beaverhausen]

Lucy I would like to make a painful admission, my mother committed suicide 10 years ago.  You mention you have family that you don't want to embarrass - I beg you, please know it is not embarrassment they will feel, but an entire sense of failure; combined with the deepest sadness that can possibly be felt.  Not to mention many other painful feelings almost too complex to unravel.  (I am *still* trying to come to terms with my mother's choice ten years forward and I wonder if I *ever* will.)
 
You can get help through this dark patch, WITH professional help, I ask that you please, keep looking for it; & keep trying not to fall into "all or nothing" (i.e. "this is never going to get better") thinking.  It is difficult, but with the support of a good therapist & other sources (social services, domestic violence shelters?) you can move away from that toxic relationship and, yes, from toxic inward feelings.

Dark thoughts are - just that, thoughts, but certain actions are irrevocable.  But to effect *change* when all is dark is quite all right.  Give life another chance.  There is still beauty, humor, and inspiration all around you.  I don't know you but I'm rooting for you to find your joy  and hope you will turn this awful corner realizing that you have more strength than you ever knew you had.   

Gems, I don't even want to pretend like anything I can say would be helpful or comforting to you but I'm so very sorry you have to walk this road.  I hope that as time goes on, you're finding peace and healing.  Thank you for sharing this, and I hope it helps Lucy realize that it's not the solution to her current hurt.

What a beautiful community this board is and I couldn't be more thankful to be part of it.

What Cordelia said. I’m so sorry. 

[thecrownjewelthief]

Sending you hugs and love, Lucy I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but it will get better. We’ll be here for you until then though.

As others have said, please please reach out to a professional (though having a community to support you is a great thing too!). I’ve been in counseling several times in my life and it’s been incredibly helpful. Don’t be afraid to to try a few people to find yourself the right fit too.

It’s from Winnie the Pooh, but one of my favorite quotes to remember when things aren’t going well is "Promise me you'll always remember: you're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

[Cordelia Fitzgerald]

Lucy...just checking in...how have you been?  I know you said weekends are hard for you.   

[anneboleyn]

Thinking of you, Lucy... hope you're doing well