Break-up, depression and anxiety

[lucy]

Hello, sorry for not being active here lately. But I do read. I am going through a break-up right now and I think also depression as I have been prolonging this agony for so long, in fear of the break-up. But I feel falling into depression deeper and deeper if I will not face this head on and put a full stop to this toxic relationship. I have attempted a few times in the past, but when I’m feeling the break-up effect, I go back to the relationship again. I am hurt enough to consider a break up many times but I am not strong enough to face life alone after. I am feeling depressed and also anxiety facing an unknown future. I feel tired to go on working as I don’t have a purpose in life. I am so down at the moment. The things preventing me from taking my life are my fear of the act and I don’t want to embarrass my family. Otherwise, i don’t care for my health anymore. Thank you

Sorry for this selfish post. But I need to let this out in an anonymous way. I live alone and have no one to talk to comfortably. So being anonymous here is the way.

[Mariola]

Hello, sorry for not being active here lately. But I do read. I am going through a break-up right now and I think also depression as I have been prolonging this agony for so long, in fear of the break-up. But I feel falling into depression deeper and deeper if I will not face this head on and put a full stop to this toxic relationship. I have attempted a few times in the past, but when I’m feeling the break-up effect, I go back to the relationship again. I am hurt enough to consider a break up many times but I am not strong enough to face life alone after. I am feeling depressed and also anxiety facing an unknown future. I feel tired to go on working as I don’t have a purpose in life. I am so down at the moment. The things preventing me from taking my life are my fear of the act and I don’t want to embarrass my family. Otherwise, i don’t care for my health anymore. Thank you

Sorry for this selfish post. But I need to let this out in an anonymous way. I live alone and have no one to talk to comfortably. So being anonymous here is the way.

It is not at all a selfish post, Lucy.
If you would like to talk to a stranger with not perfect English but a friendly ear then please message me.

[Eliza B]

You are not selfish at all.  And you are not alone.  One relationship isn't your purpose in life. The people you touch in daily life, and even here "anonymously" matter more than you know.  If you ever need to talk I am here; we all are.  Also, please consider going to see a third party councilor as an unbiased outlet who can help you sort your feelings and provide tools to help build confidence with the new bright future you can't see right now, but is absolutely ahead of you. You are worthy.

[Hester]

Lucy. Is there a phone counselling service where you are? In Australia we have a service called Lifeline. Reach out locally if you can. Do you have a regular doctor? Ask for a referral for treatment . Depression can be treated. Are you working? Can you confide in your manager? Does your workplace have counselling support?

You may need help to get out of the relationship. Don’t be afraid of being alone, there are strategies and tools for living on your own.

And please please keep posting here, as often and as lengthy as you need to. You are valued here.  ❤️

[Cordelia Fitzgerald]

Dear Lucy, you matter so deeply.  You deserve a life of peace; you deserve so much more than the toxicity your partner is covering you with.  Regardless of what this person has said or done to you, YOU MATTER and YOU HAVE WORTH.  It's so hard to see the hope when you're in the midst of the storm, but hope and healing are there.  I'm praying for you and your precious life and your precious heart.  I also echo the words of these other friends on here...please reach out to a professional, and if that thought is frightening, perhaps you could let us know roughly what area of the world you live in and we could research services for you to access.  We love you!

And post away, nonstop if you want to!  You're not a burden; you're a blessing. 

[Tatini]

There is always light at the end of the tunnel, dear Lucy. Maybe you need this breakup up to move on to a happier stage in your life. The transition from one phase to another can be painful and scary, but, It is not going to last forever. It’ll pass. Please reach out to a health professional, a doctor and/or a psychologist for immediate treatment, and keep posting here.

[Cordelia Fitzgerald]

Lucy, one thing I want to add is this: You are not a failure, and none of the struggles you are going through is because you are a failure or are weak.  You are not a failure for having been in a toxic relationship; you are a survivor for making it through and knowing your worth and knowing you deserve better.  You will not be a failure for reaching out for professional help.  There is no shame in that; you can't imagine probably how many of us Dishers have received counseling, therapy, medication, etc. to help with anxiety and depression.  And you're not a failure because this is all scary for you, even though you know that leaving a toxic relationship is for the best.  Courage doesn't mean you never feel fear; courage means you feel the fear and take those baby steps anyway.  Acknowledging what you need to do and how you are feeling is TREMENDOUSLY courageous and my friend, you can take the next step, and the next, and the next. 

[Ghost]

Dear Lucy,
I admire so much your courage to face the reality! Please, know that here’s a community of strangers rooting for you.
I don’t know how to say it better, we are here for you!

Love.

[temi]

Lucy, you are strong enough. Because you’re not alone. You have you. That post took courage. The most important relationship is with yourself. And you are enough. Happiness isn’t the goal, it’s the side effect of living true. Trust your gut. Don’t look for better, go for different and find what fits. Make the small change. And another. And another. You got this Lucy. Tell yourself everyday.

You got this.

[Lady Liebe]

 

You are loved, you are special, and I am holding you in my prayers.

Please Lucy, please do take Eliza and Hester's advice and contact a counselor. I know at this point it will take courage but they can help tremendously. You can talk it out, and they will have tools that will assist you in moving on. We're all pulling for you.

[Kristallinchen]

Lucy, no one has to pull through depressions etc. alone. You're not crazy, lazy or anything else sadly often associated with this illness.

Stay strong  and remember you're loved/supported by many.

[Antevorta]

Dear Lucy,

I believe we have all been in your position at one time or another. You are not alone.

I can speak from experience that it is far better to completely cut off the toxic relationship than it is to continue to break yourself down. You are worth so much more and deserve so much more than what you currently offer yourself.

Time is truly the only healer in life. You will get past the depression and the sadness but you must allow yourself to heal. Time is a bitch and it’s slow but I promise you, if you let yourself, you will come through this period strongly and you will know yourself better than ever.

Please do not do something permanent in a passing situation. I am around if you need to talk and I am happy to do so.

You are valued and you are known. You matter and are loved. You are more than what you currently give yourself credit for. Please know this.

[anastasia beaverhausen]

Lucy:

I can only echo what everyone else has said - we care about you and want you to be happy.

I hope that you take the advice to get counseling. This is a big deal, and you don’t have to do it alone.

All good thoughts for your healing and happiness.

[perdie]

Hello, sorry for not being active here lately. But I do read. I am going through a break-up right now and I think also depression as I have been prolonging this agony for so long, in fear of the break-up. But I feel falling into depression deeper and deeper if I will not face this head on and put a full stop to this toxic relationship. I have attempted a few times in the past, but when I’m feeling the break-up effect, I go back to the relationship again. I am hurt enough to consider a break up many times but I am not strong enough to face life alone after. I am feeling depressed and also anxiety facing an unknown future. I feel tired to go on working as I don’t have a purpose in life. I am so down at the moment. The things preventing me from taking my life are my fear of the act and I don’t want to embarrass my family. Otherwise, i don’t care for my health anymore. Thank you

Sorry for this selfish post. But I need to let this out in an anonymous way. I live alone and have no one to talk to comfortably. So being anonymous here is the way.

Lucy, everyone has given you great advice and I wanted to add one more thought: if your friend or sibling or colleague told you this, what would you say to them?  Wouldn't you tell them the short term agony of ending the relationship is nothing in comparison to staying in a toxic relationship?  That short term agony will be so worth it, and being alone is so much better than how this is making you feel.  Wouldn't you tell them that ending their life won't embarrass their family, but will devastate them?  Think of all the things you would tell someone else in your situation and realise that you are just as worthy.

[anneboleyn]

I also just got out of a difficult relationship. I am here for you if you need an anonymous ear.