I would like to say thanks to Antevorta and Miss Marple for their rich and articulate contributions in this discussion and reflection.
I think Madde is clearly given a hard time. What's wrong in being a stay at home mom, if she and her husband can afford to do so? I personally think it is a priviledge to be able to see your kids grow up from up close (it goes by so fast!), and since she is a kind of peripheral royal anyway, she might as well indeed simply step back and care for her family.
And let's face it, she is being and will be criticised whatever she does. Popping over a few times a year to Sweden for a few apparences would not shut up the press, they would only ask for more and criticise her for not be doing more anyway. The press and subjects have this love hate with certain characters, specially if they are female and
good looking: they are fascinated by what they do or do not do, but they seem to want to see them fail to feel better about their own frustrations and failurtes.
I do however understand the criticism towards her: the more opportunities one gets in life, it does raise the others expectations about their achievments. The pressure would be a lot less on her had she been just some billionaire's daugther like thousands of "it girls" we see around the world, just spending daddy's and hubby's (and their own!) money. When you're born in that level of priviledge, and have had a very high level upbringing which was in fact sponsored by the tax payers money, people are looking at you to see what you have done with your "talents".